* Be wary of storing wine in new, small
oak barrels that have not been rinsed
thoroughly and broken in (the wine
may become over-oaked within two
weeks!)
* Even though you over-oaked the
wine, be patient. The harsh flavor will
dissipate with time. Patience is a
winemaker's virtue.
* Don't attach a sulpher stick to a
rubber bung when sulphering a barrel.
When the sulpher burns, it may melt
the rubber (not a pleasant tasting
addition for a barrel).
* If you don't get all the sulpher out of
the barrel, your wine may have the
nose of used matchsticks.
* When selecting a home-site for a
vineyard, a mountain top offers
fabulous views and excellent drainage,
but flat land is easier to walk on,
develop and maintain. (Retaining walls
may be more expensive to construct
than your vineyard!)
* Don't buy a house in the country just
because your dog needs more room.
If the coyotes and the snakes don't get
him, the foxtails will.
* Inspect the dog's toes for foxtails
twice a day, or withdraw $2,000 from
the ATM to pay for the upcoming visit
to the vet.
* In the long run it's cheaper to
purchase $25/bottle wine from the
local winery than to make your own.
(But not nearly as fun.)
* Don't leave your cases of wine in the
garage if the temperatures rest at 90
degrees for a month or so. The wine
will oxidize, turn brownish and change
taste. Said one taster: "Hmm, reminds
me of 'medicino'." A polite way to say
the Syrah had turned to medicine!
* Just because a self-proclaimed wine
judge doesn't ooh and aah over the
best bottle of wine you ever made
doesn't mean it's not an award-winning
concoction!
*Seen on a T-Shirt: "I spent most of my
money on wine and women. The rest
of it I wasted."
*Things that go bump in the dark:
Watch out for scorpions when getting a
glass of water in the middle of the night.
* Watch out for black widows when
pulling the cover off of your wine
containers.
* A glass of white wine isn't so bad if
you've only been quaffing red for the
last year.
* The rabbits will eat the buds and first
leaves from your newly planted roots --
put the plastic covers on, fool!
(To be continued.)
Hit the ball straight.
